Leonora Rustamova signed copies of her new book at Waterstone's in Huddersfield yesterday and once again records were smashed, for Bluemosoe that is. We sold 25 copies of Stop Don't Read This, which to some may not seem record smashing but for someone like myself who has organised and been to a couple of hundred book signings, it is.
I have organised signings for Duchesses, screen royalty, TV Soap stars and multi million book selling authors. One decided to get her own motorcycle outriders and police escort without telling the publishers, cost us thousands, another brought five wigs, three types of different water, usually brought to these shores from an Himalayan spring by a posse of indigant Sherpas, and she ordered lots of food and ate not a scrap and at another signing no one turned up and we had to dress up members of staff, divvy out fivers from petty cash and get them to buy the book as 'random members of the public.'
Book signings can be fraught not only with indifference from the great British public but from the machinations and egos of self interested and demanding 'artistes.' It takes a lot for somebody to meet their literary idols or to ask questions from somebody they have never met. But they did yesterday. And they bought Stop Don't Read This, and perhaps after they know the truth about what really happened, more questions will be asked and those in the upper echelons will have to answer. Of course they will obfuscate and deflect and bewigged corpulant men from far off places with twinkling cufflinks will hurl long words around, but a course has been set and without the need of a custard pie, Leonora will have her day in the court of the public and those that have bore witness to this travesty will be shamed and pilloried. And rightly so. There endeth the lesson. Well it is Sunday.