Archers Anxiety Attack

There is something afoot at the BBC. Although I don't want to divulge too much about my abluting habits, every time I go for a shower or bath, when I turn the radio on, there it is, the bloody Archers, up to their badass tricks down in Trumpton, or wherever they live. Either the plumber we gainfully employed is an Archers fanatic and has wired the hot water tap to Archers HQ, or the BBC are trying to destabilise Moose Towers with encrypted messages from Eddie Grundy and Co. I will be writing to the Director General of the BBC and an MP ar three. Bath time should be relaxing, not listening to folk prattle on about the best way to iodine the teats of your best dairy herd.