The Man Booker Reading Group

He didn't turn up and I'd bought some Hobnobs. Peter Kay that is. Steve Clayton and I were at Heaton Library in Bolton to talk about his book, The art of being dead and publishing. There were about 30 people but the Bolton gagmeister was absent. More Hobnobs for everyone else. Your loss Mr. Kay. However, we nearly didn't get there. I had Googled for directions but like the great navigator Iam, I didn't actually look at them and found myself headed towards Wigan. Scott and Aumundson were correct not to hire my forbears. They would have ended up in Brazil. I stopped at a bus stop and asked for directions. A lady popped her head in the window and said 'I've lived 'ere forty years luv, and I've never heard of Heaton Library.' A man next to her didn't have such reservations. 'Heaton Library?,' 'Yes.' I replied. 'I'll get in and show you.'.
When this happens two thoughts jump into your head.

1.Psycho nutter.
2.Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
3. Care in the community.

But I shouldn't have worried. He took us straight there. He was a diamond, my head stayed connected to my neck and my faith in humanity was restored.

The reading group were vibrant, knowledgeable and passionate. Not all of them liked Steve's book, and that's their prerogative. However, most of them did and asked some very pertinent questions. They had some very interesting thoughts about Creative writing courses but that's a topic for another day. It just proves however that libraries are more than just the issuing of books. They are a vibrant, integral part of a community where groups meet up everyday to discuss a myriad of things. They are essential services and for some along with the Post Office they are their only contact with other people. And you can't put a price on this. This is something for councillors to ponder when they dig into their free meals after their umpteenth committee meeting on twinning their town with Ulan Bator.

Having Coffee with Peter Kay

The shirt has been ironed, the jacket dusted off and shoes polished. The Moose and Steve are back on the road promoting his book The art of being dead. Today we're in Bolton and although we don't expect Peter Kay to turn up we do expect to be grilled by the various members of readers groups. It will be fun.
The jacket arrives today for Falling Through Clouds by Anna Chilvers. It's all very exciting and although you've given a brief to the designer you never know what the final jacket will look like. The problem with designing something is that ultimately decisions have to be made. You can't design a jacket by committee. There lies madness. Look at the camel. It started out as a house dog and then, well, other camels like them but you wouldn't have one as a pet would you?
Must dash, dig the car out from the snow and head off into the northern lights.

The man without

I have just read The Man Without by Ray Robinson. It's published by Picador in paperback. I met Ray ten days ago at Watertsones in Manchester and we had a coffee and a chat. He asked if I would review his book. I said yes but then started to worry that if I didn't like it what would I say. You see Ray's one of the good guys. I needn't have worried. It is a fantastic read. A great story and Ray's observations are razor sharp.It follows the life of Antony, a care worker who is under the psychiatrist as the medics say. The narrative is beautifully layered and punctuated by some brutal and dark episodes that are written with great skill. Ray writes with an honesty about a subject few of us understand. The humour and wit illuminate Antony's struggles with his transvestism which at times made me want to laugh and cry in equal measure. That we are allowed into the tortured soul of Antony and endure with him in his daily struggle to cope with his past, his present and the future is testimony to Ray's great skill as a storyteller. I loved the lricism and barbed humour. When he talks about ' the clarty arsed sheep of Ted Hughes' poetry,' you can't hellp but laugh. His references to Morrissey and The Smith's about being' miserable now,' made me titter. There is a beautiful but tense scene when on meeting his father for the first time Antony says. ' He could sense his father grasping with something. The wings of words trapped in his mouth.' Absolutley fantastic. This is a book that we all should read not because it will give us a great insight into the world of 'The Tranny,' it will, but because it is a stunning story, beautifully told by a writer with a gift for the written word.
There is a slight problem and that's with the publisher. There is no blurb on the back of the book to tempt you inside and read. There are fantastic quotes, which are a guide I guess, but I peronally like to see a little of what I'm going to jump into before I buy. However, buy this book, it is one of the best books I've read in along time.

Bolton or Bust

The Moose and Steve Clayton are going to Bolton on Monday to do a reading at Heaton library. Steve will be reading from his debut novel The art of being dead. There was a superb interview with him yesterday in The Yorkshire Post www.ypn.co.uk and sales have gone bananas.
Now Bolton is the home to Peter Kay. Mr Kay was in the stage show of The Producers by Mel Brooks and I gave him a copy of Anthills and Stars, Bluemooses first publication. I left it for him at the stage door of The Palace Theatre in Manchester in March 2007. I have yet to hear from him. I thought he was very funny before March 2007 but he isn't anymore. If he replies or returns the book, he will become funny again but until he enters into some sort of correspendonce he will remain unfunny. He will be just another corpulent smiley northern comedian trying to increase my titter quotient and failing. I saw Dave Sparkey on TV on Friday, he's from Bolton and he's very funny. He's much funnier than Peter Kay. Perhaps I should see if he'll read anything from the Bluemoose stable.
I read an interesting article from a QC yesterday on The Booksellers online magazine. www.thebookseller.com It's the trade mag for the world of publishing. It was related to celeberity authors and the writing of their novels. If they haven't written them themselves then the publisher has to make it clear that the novel was 'inspired by,' or 'is from an idea from.' If the publisher tries to pass off the novel as written solely by the celeb then it is in breach of 'The trades descriptions act,' and can be fined as such. I will be waiting to see if the new Cheryl Cole novel will be advertised and promoted as a work written by herself. If it is written by her. Fair play. If not and those pesky editors at Harper Collins are fibbing, then a writ will be fired their way by the Moose Department of Correction

The Bluemoose Challenge

I've thrown down the glove to the Marketing Director at Bantam Books. I have bet the marketing supremo that if they give me the marketing spend that they had for the promotion of Paul O'Grady's 'At My Mother's Knee' I can make more money from out next publication FALLING THROUGH CLOUDS, than they did with their celebrity autobiography. They sold over 600,000 copies of Mr O'Grady's book. It has an rrp of £18.99 but given that it was selling at £10 in most high street book stores and at some £8.99 .This means that the publisher must have received no more than £6 per book. The maths: total revenue of about £3.6 Million. Knock off a cool £1Million for the advance and that makes £2.6 million. Very few publishers make more than 10% profit and so give or take a few shekels they probably made a profit pf about £260,000. I don't know how much TV advertising costs but with print and TV monies I bet the marketing budget was about £100,000. Now I could sell a bucket load of books with that figure to promote Anna Chilvers new novel, and yes I would have had to shell out a few more discount points but once the profit rolled in, I'd pay Bantam their monies back, the public would have a brilliant new novel, and Bluemoose would invest the profits in publishing new writers and not in the second auotbiography of Paul O'Grady, however riveting that may be. Pick up that glove.Let that Bantam go. Go on, I dare you!

All Systems go

A date has been set, ISBN numbers allocated, the jacket is wending its way from Nottingham via the cultured and artistic hand of our illustrator Ian Dodds and so FALLING THROUGH CLOUDS by Anna Chilvers will be published on 22 June 2009 at 11.00am. OK I lied about the hour but the day and month, put it in the diary and get down to your local bookshop. It's a wonderful story. Beautifully written. That's what I and I think most people want . A great story beautifully told. It's all about storytelling. Lesley Glaister thinks so and she's reviewed and given it a fantastic quote. We'll drip feed you bits of the story to get you all excited, I hope. We will have an interview with Anna soon about writing and getting published.
The Moose got an email yesterday from a Prison. Nothing untoward, although you do get worried when you see in your inbox an email from Her Majesty's Prisons. I'm going to give a talk and read from my book, Anthills and Stars. www.Bluemoosebooks.com It follows a group of hippies moving into a traditional mill town in the late 60's. The locals are less than impressed. Scott Pack www.meandmynouth.typepad.com said it is 'a warm and beautifully observed comedy that was very funny indeed. Kevin Duffy has Alan Bennett's fine ear for dialogue.'
Sorry about the shameless plug but I received a letter from our man with the tattered bowler hat at Lloyds TSB. He wants monies and he doesn't care how he gets it. The credit crunch has done away with any attempt at decorum and etiquette when it comes to letters from the bank.
I don't know whether I'll have to sign some kind of confidentiality thing for the visit to the prison and of course I wouldn't speak about the people I meet or divulge escape routes, but it will be interesting. And please no comments about a captive audience.

Kareoke Writing

Any budding author now has a new route to success. Shut down the PC and get singing. That's right. Singing. Kareoke is King and Creative Writing Courses are now officially dead. Get an audition on a Reality Singing Show, come second, join an all girl band. Become successful, sell bucket loads of records and shed the odd tear whilst listening to the stories of other budding contestants. You see Cheryl Cole has just landed a Book deal to write a series of 'Chick Lit' books. I don't know how many zeros she's been offered and I'm sure she's a delightful soul, but can she write? Perhaps she will prove us all wrong and produce a brilliant novel. We'll have to wait and see won't we. But it brings us back to 'Bling Publishing.' All commissioning editors have to do is Secure a Star personality, produce a book and the tills will be awash with credit crunch lucre. And the literary tradition is once again secure. Perhaps with Cheryl's previous record of fisticuffs, she could call her book, FIGHT CLUB. I don't know but it's certainly raised the antlers of the Moose as well as some other well known authors like Freya North. Read her comments on her website. www.freyanorth.com . She has a point, several in fact.
I received several emails yesterday from other people concerned with the closure of libraries up and down the country. Swindon and Argyll and Bute are just a couple of authorities that are following the Wirral in their zero library policy. If you have the time could you write to these councils and state your objections. Perhaps Ms Cole could launch her debut novel at a local library to show her committment to the written word. Now where is Simon Cowell's mobile No.?

Celebrity Libraries

As is the way of the book world these days, what with celebrity autobiographies rammed to the rooftops in the high street bookstores, we are now being bombarded with the 'Celebrity Library.' In the broadsheets recently we have had 'Obama's Library,' The Guardian did a piece on David Cameron's' library, Tony Blair doesn't have one because he's read everything and on Sunday The Observer reviewed a book on Hitler's Library. No wonder the councillors on The Wirral have said enough is enough and decided that their libraries lack any celebrity merit at all and have decided to close 13 of them. Andrew Motion, bless his cotton socks is rallying the troops as is local boy Frank Cottrell Boyce. You see its all about value for money. The market dictates. I would have thought recent events would have given us a clue to where that particular belief leads us. What is wrong with public money being spent on a public resource for the benefit of everyone? When bankers seem to have all the 'get out of jail free cards,' and hubris wins out over public service, it's about time we decided that libraries and post offices are essential assets that shouldn't be sold off to the highest bidder because some boy wonder from the town hall has got his boxers in a twist. The Wirral library closures is being featured on PM on Radio 4 this Thursday 5th Feb at 5pm. You all must listen and get angry. When incompetence is rewarded with multi billion pound pay outs and pay offs, a few quid here and there to local authorities up and down the country is a small price to pay for the excellent service libraries and librarians give.

Bling Bookselling

On Friday I met up with a sales director form a large publishing company who had been invited to hear what Watertsones had to say about 2009. It was mission statement stuff and once they'd exhausted all the management speak, the gist was, that they were going to become ' more front of store led.' This is bookselling speak for selling front list titles only. New titles heavily discounted. They are going to give the customer even more value for money. Great sentiments but what they're really trying to do is compete with the supermarkets by stacking high and selling cheap. Any bookseller knows that it's the backlist that provides the profit. All publishers know that without backlist sales they will perish. You cannot invest in new books and new writers without the solid base of backlist sales. Period. It would be like Tesco's deciding not to sell milk, bread, cheese and concentrating on Avocados, Yakult and Ostrich meat because they're new and sexy. It won't work. It's become Bling Bookselling. But once you've sold all the new stuff the cupboard will be bare. Of course you can sell both. You need new books to bring customers in and drive footfall but you also need decent stock to keep the customer interested and browsing so that they will pick up another book and perhaps, heaven forefend buy more than one book. Waterstones is a tremendous brand and customers are very loyal but if they continue down this route they may end up looking like a Turkish bazarr with customers haggling over prices at their 'counters of discount.' They will become discounters of all books and that path leads to TOP TEN ONLY. Agents will only sign and promote authors they think will sell more than 500,000 copies, which is what every author wants, but if this means you can only write in one genre, then It's Celebrity Historical Forensic Crime by Dan Brown Patterson O'Grady for the nest few years. Editors will only buy books that are from confirmed celebrity nail ons with TV backed marketing and voice overs called. 'How a turned my Life From Lard to Laughter.'
It all makes sense, the mists have cleared and now I'll go and make a snowman.

Northern Soul

Wade In The Water by Ramsey Lewis is one of my desert island discs. I have it on CD but not on vinyl. Anna, author of FALLING THROUGH CLOUDS came round yesterday and gave me a copy and it' s vinyl. Johhny her husband is a DJ and so they have lots of the stuff. They put nights on at various venues in Hebden, Leeds and Manchester and know lots of young happening DJ's like Kid Knievel. All I know is that Wade in the water is a stunning piece of music. Haunting, soulful and if you want to throw some shapes as these younger people say, its the song for you. It was taken up by Northern Soul in the 70's and became a torch song. Now to impress the ladies at a soul night then, you had to be able to dance. And you had to be able to spin. The more spins the more ladies. It was a simple equation. If your spinning wasn't up to scratch then you went home alone. A friend of mine dug the rubber out of the heels of his shoes and put ballbearings into them. He span like a top and the ladies queued up. Innovation is the mother of getting laid. But when the ballbearings eventually work themselves free and your spinning comes to a deceitful stop, you are banished forever. A Northern Soul pariah. But what a few months.