Jamie and the Gibbut

Christmas has arrived early in Hebdonia. Jamie Oliver was in town to do the new Sainsbury's advert. I came back into Hebden at 1pm to be confronted by snow and reindeer. Plastic reindeer and perfect turkey slices. No turkey swizzlers here. Oh no. The crafty cockney performed his naked cooking duties, played the spoons for a couple of hours and exited stage left. He will probably return today to stuff the bird. However, there is an ancient byelaw that dates back to 1423 and states that a Cockney is allowed a 48 hour pass in Hebden but if he stays longer he will be hung drawn and quartered. The gibbut is being polished as I type.