Writing for Ezines

Guest blogger of the day is friend of the Moose Craig Wallwork. He writes for eZines and knows lots about them.

So, you’ve written a story, or two, maybe joined a workshop, which has helped polish your mighty opus, now it’s time to send it out. As previously mentioned, there are many websites out there which will read your work for free, and, providing it’s noteworthy, publish it. Most never pay for this privilege; so don’t be booking that holiday in the South of France just yet. I would urge you to do your homework. Don’t settle on the first publishing website you find. Read their archive sections to determine the type of prose they prefer. There’s no point in sending out your transgressive neo-noir cyber-punk vignette, if they only publish horror stories. Moreover, don’t send out a story with a word count of 50,000, when the company only accept a maximum of 1500 for short stories. Read the submission guidelines, and make sure what you’re sending fits their style. There are plenty to go at, but a few good e-zines to get you started are, 3AM Magazine (UK), Beat The Dust (UK), Dogmatika, (US), The Beat (UK), Word Riot (US), and Thieves Jargon (US).
It’s unlikely you’ll receive a reply the next day, or the next week. If you’re lucky, they may get back to you within 3 months. So, don’t be disheartened, and however tempting it may be, don’t pester them. I think the first couple I sent out I added at the end of the email a request for notification that they’d received the story. I didn’t get one. My final words on this are don’t hold on too tightly to that story. The common mistake most new writers make, myself included, is thinking their work is too good for just publishing on a website. It might be, and you might want to send it to a few well-respected magazines to see how it goes (try Glimmertrain, and Succour, in the first instance), but the chances are you’ll receive a reply that only has its place on that spike. Let the story go, because if you can’t write anything better, then you’ve already ended your career as a writer.

Now, if haven’t already drove that spike into your forehead, or you still have enough sole on your feet to take a few more extra steps with manuscript in hand, then I’d highly recommend sending it to Bluemoose Publications. They’re one of the few independent publishing companies still out there driven solely by allowing new voices the freedom to reach a larger audience. Kevin Duffy’s intentions for Bluemoose is very much the same as the sorely missed Rebel Inc, in that it’s more about the story than it is about the pocket. In an industry that currently saturated with regurgitated chick-lit, reality bios and true life harrowing memoirs, Bluemoose has a lot to offer a new writer. As always, good luck. And if you remember anything from this, remember that, “A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.” – Richard Bach.

Craig Wallwork lives in West Yorkshire with his wife and baby daughter. His stories have appeared in Colored Chalk Magazine, Cherry Bleeds Magazine, Beat The Dust, Laura Hird, The Beat, Dogmatika, Thieves Jargon, and Nefarious Muse. He’s currently working on his fourth novel.
Follow his progress at: craigwallwork.blogspot.com


Thanks Craig

Library Closures

Andy Burnham, secretary of state for Media Culture and Sport has said he is 'not minded to intervene' in the closures of libraries in Swindon and on the Wirral. Instead he is diverting governement monies into the pension pot of the man that broke the bank, Sir Fred Goodwin.
Now that's what I call good governance. Fail and we'll bail you out to the tune of 500 Billion. Serve the public in these dire economic times and we'll shut you down. Board you up. Give you the finger. The government fire sale has started. Libraries now. The Post office next.....and then what? All public services are now under threat. In a perverse logic, when you succeed you're closed down, when you fail you're rewarded. It's Alice in wonderland time. Write to Mr Burnham but don't hold your breath. I have yet to receive a reply.
Journalists at The Yorkshire Post are on strike today. Why? Because the company that owns it, although its making a handsome profit it's shareholders don't think its big enough , so 15 journalists jobs are on the line. A newspaper without journalists isn't a newspaper. Its an advertorial. Regional newspapers like The YP are essential for small publishers like Bluemoose and I would hate to see it lose its identity and run stories from a hub of journailists based in London. Or god forbid news stories being outsourced from Tirana.

Lost Poem

The Stanza Search and Rescue unit from The University of Manchester has found a lost poem in Hardcastle Craggs, Hebden Bridge, purported to be that written by Ted Hughes. Professor Haiku along with some research students found the poem under ' a deep,black,black winged stone.' Here it is.


YORKSHIRE PUDDING.



YORK


SHIRE


PUDD


ING.




Marvellous.

Pancake Therapy

The sons of Moose complained yesterday because they came home from school and college and were fed curry. They wanted pancakes. It was Pancake Tuesday and I fed them Sub Continent fare. Outragious. I simply forgot. I'm usually reminded by all the adverts on TV starring the little plastic lemon we used to call 'JIF.' I didn't see it. Has it too succumbed to the economic downturn or is it called something else in this homogenised world a la the Snickers Bar and Cif? However, Hebden being Hebden there is a therapist that deals in Pancake Deprivation and my two boys will soon be prone on a couch bad mouthing their father. Is there any justice? Tomorrow we have an exclusive . A new Ted Hughes Poem.

The Queen is dead

Bluemoose Books can announce today the successful acquisition of World rights to the autobiography of The Queen. The Queen 82, has written her autobiography in light of the damning news that has just come out of the palace. Employees from the German firm of Bailiffs,
Shitzhstealkamphoff, are in the process of removing all the goods and chattels of the present incumbent and taking them to the German of town of Rust, where the real Queen is believed to live. It is believed that in 1926 the first daughter of the Duke and Duchess of York was taken to live with her aunt Henrietta Saxe Coburg as the result of a gambling debt that hadn't been paid. Speaking from the inn which she runs with her son Crown Prince Hollenzhein she said.' At last I am delighted to be reclaiming my rightful place at the head of the British Royal Family.' Constitutional experts are already applying to the courts in both countries to try and stop the repossession of Buckingham Palace. This heartbreaking tale of deception and lies is beautifully told with warmth and compassion. The launch will be held at Bonhams auction house in September 16th 2009 where Philip and Elizabeth hope to raise enough money to set up house on the Greek Island of their friend Viscount Stamford. Speaking to passing motorists she said .
' Don't worry I've got an each way bet on the 3.45 at Catterick this afternoon which should set us up for the Spring.' Liz and Phil will be appearing on the Jeremy Kyle show in March. Jonathan Ross is interviewing them in his Easter broadcast. The Times has bought world exclusive rights. TV and Radio adverts will be trailed before the launch with music by Morrissey.
The autobiography is an explosive expose of The House Of Windsor and will rock the very foundations of the British Aristocracy.

Book Banned

The book world has been rocked to its foundations today when it was announced that a British Book has been banned from being launched at an International Book Festival. Stephen Clayton, author of The art of being dead has been banned from The Emirates International Book Festival.
Organisers say that the book is too sexual explicit and the author Stephen Clayton will not be asked to open the Literature Festival in Abu Dhabi later this month.
Literary Editors in London are outraged about such censorship. However, because Mr Clayton is not a journalist they will not filling their organs with comment about the book. Said the Literary Editor for one esteemed newspaper.
'If Mr Clayton had been a journalist in London then we would have been outraged and filled several pages with our concerns. But Mr Clayton is a writer and therefore doesn't merit any mention at all.'
Publisher, Kevin Duffy asked whether he was disappointed about the ban said. 'The book was never banned but we tried to jump on the bandwagon and get a few more sales with the whipped up news about censorship. I apologise about the duplicity. However, what does concern me is that nothing was written about the non banning in the newspapers because the author wasn't a journalist .'
And now. The Pope is Catholic and Bears eveacuate in the woods.

And the winner is.......

'And here we are at The Kodak Theatre Hollywood for the annual Moosecars.
To present The Most God like Person on The Earth award is Icelandic Mystic and Actor
Ghoost Godthefatherson.'
Ghoost, Over to you.'
'Thank You God....thank you, thank you......(Ghoost is wearing an Armani suit, a Paul Smith T Shirt and some Aramaic sandals)
And the winner is.....breathe, breathe, breathe........St Bono.....'

St Bono appears through a cloud on a crucifix carried by Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. Bono frees himself from the cross, blesses the crowd and ascends heavenwards.
Spontaneous lachrimosity from the crowd. The tears of humanity. The voice of Charlton Heston is heard throughout the auditorium.
'That truly was the son of God.'
Ghoost Godthefatherson holds up the statueette of The Moosecar and hails St Bono of the Ages.
And speaks for everyone when he says.
'Amen.'

Of course the winner of Best Book of the year is The art of being dead by Stephen Clayton.

Scott will be twittering about the Oscars at http://www.meandmybigmouth.typepad.com/ so you can read if my predictions are correct. Star Spangled Schmaltz and all that bananas.

No More Laughter

It's official. Because of the economic downturn publishers have decided that the public are too fragile too read anything original and different. How kind of them. Apparently in the present slough of despond all we can read is safe books. Books that we are comfortable with. Same old same old. So our fare for the next ten months will be Celebrity forensic misery detecive stories. What a load of the proverbial. Now, surely given these traumatic times we want something different to read to lift us out of the slump. To get us away from the trauma and tragedy of the credit crunch. Heaven forefend perhaps even a book that makes us laugh. By the way, where is the new Tom Sharpe? Has the humorous novel died a death? I was speaking to an editorial bod from Transworld recently, and he was telling me 'That they'd had their fingers burned recently with humorous fiction and so didn't feel brave enough to publish any more such titles.' So what is he doing, yes you got it, forensic crime pornography. You know the type. Page one. Slab on gurney and Lesbian Pathologist with her hand up to her elbows in innards, moving fleetly around on her Jimmy Choos listeneing to KD Lang wondering whether he niece will recover consciousness from her coma after stopping serial killers' chain saw with her iPod.
Batten down the literary hatches, Cheryl Cole's on her way dressed head to foot in Primarni. Serial killers beware. It's Charlies Angels time, but this time the right Charlie could be us.

PEE

The Moose awaits his invite for the opening of the new Central Library in Newcastle on March 3rd. The poet laureate will be there. A poem is being penned as we speak. Vol-au-vonts and peanuts will no doubt be on the menu and I'm looking forward to tucking my napkin under my collar. But the serious bit is the discussion I hope to start about libraries. And their importance. Libraries are now Learning resource Centres. LRC's.The new supermarkets for learning. A book is not a learning resource. That is a school. A book is a PEE. Yes the Moose has engaged the boy graduates who go under the moniker of, Managenment Consultants,' to research the book. And this is what they have come up with. PEE. It is goldust. A PEE is, a Prepackaged Entertainment Entity. See, all that money was worth it. LRC's should be filled to the gills with PEE. But libraries should be filled with books. When town hall Johnnies decide that books are the devil incarnate and the buildings that house them should be demolished, because Brian at the council can't add up with his new abacus, then we need to get angry and shout a lot. In these desperate times local councils are beig very opportunistic to attack public services. They will ask, 'is it better to keep an OAP home open or libraries?' Wrong question. Local Councils are are there to do our bidding. And reading is the start for all of us. Not everyone can afford to buy books. Libraries are essential. Don't let the Town Hall close down your library because its yours. Ask them about expenses and meals and consultants fees. And twinning.

Exclusively moose

Don't spare the horses. The Moose and author Steve Clayton are off to Londinium, as previously announced. Steve is giving a reading from his book, The art of being dead and I'm talking about publishing at Hammersmith and Fulham libraries. The date is to be confirmed and I'll let you know but it will be the week starting the 16th March. Come one and all. If you want to see what all the fuss is about, go to www.exclusivelyindependent.com where The art of being dead is the book of the day. It is a great site which promotes new writers and small publishers that normally wouldn't get to see the light of the day and would never get reviewed nationally. Why?
Google your literary editors in the big newspapers and ask them. You can find their email addresses in their respective organs. Boyd Tonkin at The Independent, Claire Armistead at The Guardian and Robert McCrum at The Observer. They have all had Steve's book. Perhaps the reason they haven't reviewed it is because they don't like it, they think it's a pile of the proverbial, I don't know. If that's the case then although I disagree, that's their prerogative. However, being a paranoid Moose that lives in the northern hills methinks its because we're a very small publisher and they don't believe we have the right to find a brilliant author who has written a brilliant book. I know what you're thinking, get him in the straightjacket now but it would be courteous and manners if they could at least return my emails and say what they think. Even it was only one word. However from up here in the Pennines it looks like not only are Lit Eds losing their jobs, they are losing their manners too.