'And here we are at The Kodak Theatre Hollywood for the annual Moosecars.
To present The Most God like Person on The Earth award is Icelandic Mystic and Actor
Ghoost, Over to you.'
'Thank You God....thank you, thank you......(Ghoost is wearing an Armani suit, a Paul Smith T Shirt and some Aramaic sandals)
And the winner is.....breathe, breathe, breathe........St Bono.....'
St Bono appears through a cloud on a crucifix carried by Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. Bono frees himself from the cross, blesses the crowd and ascends heavenwards.
Spontaneous lachrimosity from the crowd. The tears of humanity. The voice of Charlton Heston is heard throughout the auditorium.
'That truly was the son of God.'
Ghoost Godthefatherson holds up the statueette of The Moosecar and hails St Bono of the Ages.
And speaks for everyone when he says.
Of course the winner of Best Book of the year is The art of being dead by Stephen Clayton.
Scott will be twittering about the Oscars at http://www.meandmybigmouth.typepad.com/ so you can read if my predictions are correct. Star Spangled Schmaltz and all that bananas.