Buy a book not a rose

Having survived Friday the 13th, the Moose now has to battle through Valentines day and the expectations that this throws up, especially with all the Marks and Spencers 'Dinner for two,' adverts that are running. £20 quid for a slice of cow, a chocolate pudding, some Cava and a red rose flown in from Kenya is good value for money, as our bankers would say, but what happens if there is more than one Valentine's day expectee in your life? What if you are in a menage a trois, have several special friends or are allowed , due to religious exception, several wives? And the cost. Never mind the stamina sapping performances you may be asked to conjure up at the drop of a rose! And spare a thought for all those people who are confronted by their loved ones all togged up in a Valentine's day credit crunch costume for a fiver that has been purchased from Ann Summers! They haven't got rid of the Christmas excess and yet they amble into the boudoir cossetted in the tiniest piece of underwear with a red rose protuding from where only the medics should go. You get my frift. Buy them a book. It lasts longer, will cost you far less than twenty quid and it won't put your back out.