Bookfair.

Today Bluemoose is part of the Hebden Literary festival. I'll be appearing at Hebden Library with wares to sell . Writers talking at the event will be Jill Liddington, Mark Illis and John Siddique. They will be giving creative writing classes and answering lots of questions. I'll be selling books and chatting to the massed throngs. I'm sure it will be great fun unlike Mr Amis's review in The Grauniad yesterday about John Updike. What he was saying was that most of Updike's last published work was clunky and a tad shite but of course he had to dress it up in academic language to prove he has two brains. Kept on about etymylogical half siblings and rime things. No wonder half the population get turned off from reading when critics stuff their reviews with French and other long words trying to make people feel inadequate. Tell it as it is and you might get a better response. People might read and buy more books. Anyone for new teeth Martin?

Pitch

Both sons away at a music festival, so all is quiet in the Moose household. Trying to put together a pitch for the film wallahs in London about Anthills and stars. I'm putting together the standard seven word pitch. Apparently when Hollywood calls you have seven words to sell your film. Nightmare. Aliens was sold as, 'Jaws in Space.' I have been doing an electonic update on the telephone tree, emailing all firends and family and telling them about the Exclusively Independent showcasing of the book. I've asked if they could order the book through their libraries. Many have done so and the orders are starting to come through. Pyramid bookselling. It's the way forward.

Reviewing and Rants

Here we go....Lots of authors bemoaning the fact that critics sometimes are not very nice . Well, welcome to the real world. Perhaps your book isn't that good. Thought about that one? Some Literary Editors, as they like to call themselves, do have a problem with the very act of creativity in that they can't create much themselves bar a few nasty jibes, which their friends in the Lit Club find very amusing. I'm having a run in with one very famous (why is it that you need to see a picture of said lit ed next to his poisonious outpourings?) critic because I asked what his criteria was for reviewing books, apart from the very large advertsiing spend the big houses spend in his national newspaper? There was a double page review of the latest Sarah Waters novel and surprise surprise on the back page a full colour advert of said novel, which must have run to tens of thousands of pounds. Which came first the advertsing pound or the review? Answers on a postcard.He got all petulant and took his PC home and refuses to speak. However, with the demise of the newspaper as an organ of note, the tinternet is becoming the first port of call for readers to find out what a book is really like. Critics, high falutin purveyors of their own self worth will soon be nationalised and reduced to barking their thoughts from a darkened corner of The Graucho. Bless.

Charlie and the train

Banks and railways nationalised, Gordon Brown really is The Mao of his generation. Now that the East Coast line is not as profitable as it once was, we can use The Royal train. Instead of pulling it out of mothballs once or twice a year because Charles or Queenie wants to visit their friend Thomas somewhere up North, it can be put to some practical use. Perhaps Charles can be the driver and power the train with some of his organically grown electricity.

Milngavie Bookshop

I visited an independent bookshop yesterday 6 miles north of Glasgow,called Milngavie Bookshop, and the joint was jumping. The bookshop was rammed with browsers and the cafe teeming. The staff are enthusiastic, passionate, knowledgeable and the bookshop is stocked with a great range. Here lies the nub of their success. They know their customers and buy books accordingly. Waterstone's managers take note. You can succeed and make a profit. Leave it to those who run the shop to buy for their customers. They really do know best. Oh yes, and don't decdide to distribute your books from a hub that isn't working.

Raising the roof

HMV are to announce their results later today, but won't reveal what's happening at Waterstones. Too scary? The Samuel Johnson non fiction book award is also announced later on , Mr Beevor will win no doubt with his DDay tome and meanwhile I'm off to Glasgow to talk about books. Good job Andy Murray won last night although he still does look a miserable sod. Apparently he's been moaning about the roof, humidity et al. All will be forgiven if he wins of course and you do you need a bit of the mongrel to win, apart from Federer of course , who is sereness himself, or is it that one of the William's sisters? The M6 beckons. Joy.

The Soul Patch

There should be a law against males over forty and females too, If we are to be balanced about it, of sporting a 'Soul Patch and or a Goatee.' I was watching Glastonbury and that good old rock and roller, Mr Bruce Springstein was in possession of a Soul Patch. He may be the finest singer/songwriter ever to have left the shores of Atlantic City, New Jersey but he looked an iriot. No spelling mistake there. He looked an iriot.The Divil himself always sports one and I think there lies the clue. Anyone who has to spend time and effort producing facial tonsorial delights is someone to worry about. You have been warned.

The Tao of Now

Life death and The Tao of Now. Its a kind of A Road Less Travelled book, but with daily inspiriational ideas to get through the grind of life. Well no, not really. Someone contacted me and said they were publishing a sequel to The Bible. In jest I hope. Doesn't really need a sequel. Well, not a lot can be doen once the Four Horsemen of the apocolyose have had their way. Paul's revelations were just that, revealed, so apart from The Book of Bono, I think The Tao Of Now seems to fit but It's probably been done already. Off for a swim . Toodlepip.

Pill Popped Star

The power of words. Heroin Addict dies of overdose. Singer dies of heart attack possibly caused by misuse of prescription drugs. In both cases their hearts will have stopped. A drug is a drug. Just because Big Pharma has 'passed' all the legal tests and can buy advertising space on mainstream TV, doesn't make their product any less lethal if misused. A drug is a drug is a drug.
Our perceptions of legality is mired by the advertsing dollar and our nose ringed GP's who follow the corporate drug line. Pill Popped Star Passes Away.

Tweetfest

Yesterday was an interesting insight into two different ways of selling books. Ann Tortuga gave a great review of Gardneing with tortoises by P D Aspy in a magazine and it did result in some sales. Whilst at noon yesterday I got twittered, if that's the correct terminology by someone in Dorset. After several twitters, it turned out her dad used to live in Hebden, we had mutual friends and she owns a bookshop in Blandford Forum, Huckleberry's. After the twitfest, she bought a couple of books. The tried and trusted route of review coverage and then sales took over a month to produce a sale. The new technology route took ten minutes. As a technophobe, I have to hold my antennae up and say this new techno bookselling may have something to it. I am now going into a twittering bunker, obviously one with good reception. For now twee tweet.