Saturday, 25 July 2009
Steven Gerrard, footballer and possessor of a haircut only a mum could love has been acquitted of affray at a nightclub in Southport. Apparently he hit the DJ three times because he thought he was going to be hit. Its the Tony Blair defence. We bomb the shit out of you because we think you've got weapons of mass destruction defence. What is more alarming is that Stevy G, as he is known on the terraces, went into battle because he wanted to change the music and put some Phil Collins on. Now, pass me the black hat whilst I deliver my verdict. Surely if only for crimes against music and humanity he should have been found guilty and sent down for at least ten years. Perhaps if we'd have piped Mr Collin's 'No jacket required,' into Iraq, Saddam and his mates would have surrendered without anybody dying. The DJ might have lost the case but he deserves a medal for standing up to footballers who should never, ever, be allowed to choose the music at any given function. Mr G you stand guilty as charged.