Friday, 24 July 2009

Esoteric Bookselling

Spies have been coming out of the woodwork recently and I think I have discovered a way of finding out who is, and who isn't selling state secrets to the enemy. Anybody who wears a tie and went to Public School and studied The History of Art at Oxbridge is a spy. Can I now collect my £100 spy finding fee?

Off to see how the Waterstones staff are baring up. Not a week goes by without some new earth shattering technique is used to deceive the book buyer. Recently they were using the esoteric arts of that well known avatar, Dan Brown. White witches and sales dust are sprinkled from jets positioned at each entrance in a well known store in the North. The results have been phenomenal and each sales assistant is now required to have the sign of the beast tattooed on the nape of the neck.

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