The Two Johnnies

This week the Moose has been a bit of a celebrity tart. I have sent The art of being dead to some famous people. Why? Because it is a damn fine book. And it's cheaper than wining and dining literary editors . For the price of a stamp, I hope they will rave and shout about it, then tell all their celebrity chums and before you know it, Stephen Clayton, the author, is on the front page of all the literary gossip sheets. Sales go through the roof and Bluemoose can publish more brilliant stories. I wanted a 'Ginger,' Spice Girl moment. Do you remember when she was photographed reading, 'A Road less travelled,' and sales went ballistic? Well, I've sent the book to the Two Johnnies. Messrs Depp and Marr. It will make a great film, Mr. Depp just needs a nudge in the right direction. It has nothing to do with the fact that Steve's wife Judith thinks he's a bit of allright. And Mr Marr, well I love the Smiths. I also gave a copy to the poet laureate. I've covered all the basis. Film. Music. Literature. See you all on the red carpet at the Oscars in three years time. I'm having the frock knitted as we speak.