Moose on Rye

Today is the start of the biggest literary festival in the world. Moose on Rye. All the....only kidding. But the litfest at Hay started yesterday and if there were any literary fundamentalists out there who wanted to eradicate the world of pompous aging male writers of the unreadable, they could make a name for themselves and obliterate the lot. Of course this is merely jesting. All the worlds best put togetherers of words will be there talking and reading and talking and talking.
It was Morrisseys birthday yesterday but I doubt whether he will be celebrating flicking through his gnarled copy of Byronic poems in The Brecon Beacons. He's got better things to do. However, here's a couple of lines from one of the Smith's best songs, 'Some Mothers.'
'As Anthony said to Cleopatra as he opened a crate of ale.'
Now, tell me if there is anyone at The Guardian sponsored Hay on Wye festival that could pen that line. Absolute genius.