The Queen and I

I got knocked up by the Queen this morning. She's eager I thought. But apparently her only thoughts were for pennies. Maundy Pence that is. She stood outside Moose HQ with a purple bag full of the Maundy monies. Of course I let her in, took the monies and offered her a cup of the finest tea Hebden can provide. And can that woman talk. She has problems. Not that I can divulge the essence of our conversation, needless to say, Moose Counsellors are on their way back to Buckingham Palace to have a quiet word with those upstairs who are causing the rift. The Maundy Pence will be being auctuioned at an opportune date so that Bluemoose can prosper in these desperate times. Off to buy some hot cross buns and a few Easter eggs, for tomorrow is the start of Easter proper. The trip to the gaol went without too many problems. There was no snapping of latex gloves and all the wardens seemed pleasant enough but then I am an innocent man, which Billy Joel isn't after penning that horrendous tune. They took my passport, photocopied it, returned it and then I was off back to Moose Towers. Like many of you out there no doubt, when confronted with the long arm of the law, even though I haven't done anything, I felt as though I had and if prodded would have confessed to every unsolved crime in the West of Yorkshire. I remain an innocent man. But for how long?